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Nowadays We Marry Either Because Of Looks, Money, Desperation or Pressure…Joy Chiagozie Edem

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Domestic violence and abuse can happen to anyone, yet the problem is often overlooked, excused and denied. While the majority of domestic abuse victims are women, abuse of men happens far more often than you’d probably expect. Typically, men are physically stronger than women but that does not necessarily make it easier to escape the violence. Abuse happens to men from all cultures and walks of life just as it happens to women. However, men who are also victims often feel reluctant to report abuse by their wives because they feel it is embarrassing.

Have you thought of men who get scared at the mention of their wives; once evening start getting near, fear of going home grips them. Nobody was born a monster, it is the society that changes both the man and the woman. Sometimes i read posts and comments where both sex call the opposite sex names like “useless”. Hello? You are a man and you call a woman useless forgetting that you have a mother, sister, niece,female friends, even daughter or wife – that means they are all useless.

A lady said in her comment one day that “All men are useless” hmmm! Aunty remember your father, brother, nephew, uncle,son or even husband and male friends. As for me, i dont have useless men around me. All the men around me are useful and wonderful to me including my unborn sons and “unseen” husband, so get that. There is an Igbo adage that says, “whatever name you call your dog, that name is what it bears. I once had a neighbour(very quiet and responsible man) who married a lady he met during  their NYSC , though he went against his parents ‘ wish because they never supported their marriage. This man’ s wife was not just verbally abusing him in the presence of her family and friends, but she also did so emotionally, psychologically and otherwise to the extent of making him loose his banking job.

She practically frustrated that man, How? – she started by engaging him in a fight every monday morning, she would tear his well-ironed shirts into shreds every working day they fought until he got a sack letter. One beautiful saturday, i was doing my laundry outside, so it happened that the man was preparing for a wedding, as he was still tying a towel around his waist,the wife hit him with a coca cola bottle on his head, unwrapped the towel and pushed him outside their balcony,locked the door just to disgrace him. The poor man stood there stark naked. Observing what was going on, I ran into our flat, called my parents and my dad came to give him  something to put on and pleaded with the woman to open the door and guess what? That man slept inside his car that night. Ultimately he  lost his job – all thanks to the wife.

I have seen a woman who make false allegations about her husband to his employer, friends and even to the police just to frustrate him ; i have seen a woman who belittles the husband, humiliates him in the presence of kids; i have seen a woman who got Her husband arrested and he spent 3days in the police cell just because the husband’s family visited them from the village; i have seen a woman who does not feed her family, cheat on her husband and rubs it on the man’s face that she is cheating; i have seen a woman who threatens to leave the husband and prevents him from seeing his kids if he dares to report the abuse. However, we humans take advantage of virtually everthing – Here in Africa, we have bastardized the western culture and modernization until the purpose is defeated. Today it is makeup madness, pre-wedding shoot,bridal shower, wedding madness just to upload pictures on social media and tomorrow it is divorce madness, who knows what the nearest future will look like i the name Of advancement. Years back, marriages lasted a lifetime Ask your parents. But now women marry either because of looks, money, out of desperation or pressure, while some men are busy looking for rich ladies with lucrative businesses to get married to (popular in Lagos), I call them “Lagos-born troway” lol.

The purpose of marriage has been defeated, divorce is now the order of the day, where is love? Those “born troway” men sit at home, wait for their wives to make money for them to sqander (oriaku). For Gods sake, Read the book of Genesis, the bible called the woman Eve  a helpmate not a provider. A wife is supposed to be a man’s  companion and not sex machine or a sort of money making machine. She is a home maker, the mother of children; there to make you a better man and your backbone; And the husband remains the head in the family no matter his financial status. In a nutshell, appreciate the opposite sex and your spouses. Give no room for abuse.

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ANLCA Chieftain, Henry Njoku Debunks Purported Dissolution of Necom by Taiwo Mustapha

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The Patron of Association of Nigerian Licensed Customs Agents ANLCA, chief Henry Njoku says the purported dissolution of the National Executive Committee NECOM of the Association as credited to one Dapo Olawumi who alleged that Alhaji Taiwo Mustapha a self acclaimed ANLCA board of Trustees Chairman has dissolved the NECOM was a ruse, malicious, misleading and inconsistent with ANLCA supreme constitution.

Addressing journalists in his office in Port Harcourt, the Rivers State Capital recently, Njoku said, ” My attention has been drawn to a publication credited to Dapo Olawumi that the National Executive Committee NECOM of the Association of Nigerian Licensed Customs Agents ANLCA has been dissolved by Taiwo Mustapha who was alleged to be the Chairman of the Board of Trustees of ANLCA and acted in that capacity to purport to have dissolved the NECOM”

The visibly angry ANLCA Patron and chief executive officer of Harritex group of companies, Chief Henry Njoku,  said he would not have wasted his time replying to such hoax and garbage being dished out by those who did not mean well for the association but to put the record straight added , “I wish to state that such publication is misleading and such dissolution is inconsistent with ANLCA’s supreme constitution and only reflects the wish of those who do not mean well for ANLCA”,  insisting that “all well-meaning members of ANLCA should disregard the said unconstitutional act and remain calm.”

Speaking further, Njoku said that Taiwo Mustapha who has been specifically restrained by a Federal high Court sitting in Lagos in 2018 in suit no FHC/L/CS/1274 /2018 from parading himself as Chairman of Board of Trustees of ANLCA is neither a member of Board of Trustees of ANLCA nor the Chairman of Board of Trustees of ANLCA registered and recognized by Corporate Affairs Commission Abuja, and wondered where such power to dissolve ANLCA NECOM was gotten even as he maintained that “Alhaji Taiwo Mustapha and his cohorts have no power under ANLCA’s  supreme constitution to announce such dissolution and appointment as Taiwo Mustapha has been specifically restrained by the Federal High Court sitting in Lagos in suit no FHC/L/CS/1274 /2018 from parading himself as Chairman of Board of Trustees of ANLCA. ”

In a related development, the Eastern Zonal executive committee of ANLCA has rejected in its entirety the purported dissolution of ANLCA National Executive Committee ably led by the Acting National president, Dr Farinto Collins.

This position was disclosed to Newsmen in Port Harcourt by the Zonal Secretary Sir Joshua Ahuama on behalf of the Zonal Chairman Chief Uche Martins.

Rising from an emergency meeting weekend , Ahuama said, the zone having perused all the relevant provisions, sections and sub-sections of the ANLCA constitution has decided to solidly stand  on the decisions  of the National Executive council (NEC) held on Wednesday July 12, 2023 at RockView Hotel Abuja, extending the tenure of the current NECOM by three months in line with ANLCA supreme constitution and also upheld the NEC decision to grant one month extension request by the Association Electoral Commission (ASECO) to conduct free, fair and credible elections.

The zone insisted that NEC is the only organ of the Association saddled with such responsibilities and power for extension as contained in the ANLCA constitution and wondered why anybody or group of persons should announce the dissolution  of the National Executive Committee and appoint an administrator without recourse to the ANLCA constitution.

He described such act as unconstitutional which violated the provisions of the Association’s constitution, even as the zone dissociated herself from the alleged dissolution of NECOM while pledging her unwavering loyalty to the Acting National president Dr Farinto Collins led administration.

Recall that ANLCA which is the oldest Maritime association in Nigeria has been engulfed in a lingering crisis for many years which has defied every effort to resolve it.

Industry watchers believed that the recent moves made by the Council for the Regulation of Freight Forwarding in Nigeria (CRFFN) would have solved the problem, but with the situation on ground one may wont to believe that the end to this lingering crisis might not be in sight after all.

 

Credit: Bon Peters

 

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TOPE ALABI AND HER SIXTH SENSE

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By:Samuel Fasanmi

One of my pastors will always call me ‘Sanmi’ instead of Fasanmi. Fasanmi simply means Ifa oracle is profitable to me, and my pastor felt that in calling me Fasanmi, he was indulging in idolatry! Such is the level to which Pentecostalism has tied us to delirious treadmill of profanity in Nigeria.

The same pastor feels comfortable with names like Adeboye, Kumuyi, Ajibade, Aina, or Ilori. It simply showed his lack of depth in Yoruba language and literature. The suffix Ade, for example, which looks like a crown to adorn the king’s head, is usually more than a crown in Yoruba culture. The crown is also a symbol of worship in the Yoruba palace, and a lot of sacrifices comes with such worship. That is why a king can use his crown to place a curse on anyone, and it will come to pass.

Iku is also one of the orisas in Yoruba land. So, Kumuyi simply means the god of Iku has brought a special son. All the special children, like Taiwo and Kehinde, Aina, Ojo, and Ilori, have special panegyrics that portend their spiritual and physical talents.

In Ifa Corpus, specifically Odu Ifa 𝑂𝑔𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑎 𝑀𝑒𝑗𝑖, the stories of three women—Aboru, Aboye, and Abosise—who rendered special help to Òrúnmìlà were told. It was said that in a bid for Orunmila to consult Olodumare, these three women were like ombudsmen that must be appeased. Orunmila made sacrifices to appease these women, and he had an easy passage to see Olodumare. Just for their power and kindness, Orunmila proposed marriage to them, and the harmony of love ensued among them. In honouring these powerful women, Orunmila asserted that anyone who wants to see Iyanifa or Babalawo must first pay homage to 𝐴𝑏𝑜𝑟𝑢, 𝐴𝑏𝑜𝑦𝑒, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐴𝑏𝑜𝑠𝑖𝑠𝑒!

Another version of the significance of Aboru, Aboye, and Abosise can as well be found in Odu Ifa 𝑂𝑔𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑎 𝑀𝑒𝑗𝑖, where it was said that anyone who could mention the names of the three pretty damsels would have the liberty of having them as wives. Only Tela Oko was able to mention their names after several other men had failed in their attempts to do so. The failed men who were kept on the gallows were released and showed their appreciation to Tela Oko. However, Tela Oko asked the men to thank Aboru, Aboye, and Abosise. Since then, those names have grown from gratitude to homage, and greetings among Ifa practitioners.

Tope Alabi is a gospel singer who is fond of using Yoruba words in praising God (Olodumare). Psychologist Rhine has Tope Alabi in mind in his description of extrasensory perception, also called the sixth sense. Rhine defined the sixth sense as ‘a claimed paranormal ability pertaining to the reception of information not gained through the recognized physical senses but sensed with the mind.’

Tope Alabi’s songs are tonics for the soul. She weaves Yoruba literature around biblical stories and conveys them in narratives, leaving one in unimaginable awe and unspeakable joy. She is rich in words, deep in thoughts, philosophical in composition, and beautiful to behold.

Tope’s lyrics are deep, and the recent controversies brewing about her word usage are reflections of a society suffering from cultural diffusion, pretentious religious dogma, and a poor understanding of Yoruba language and culture. Firstly, it was Oniduro’s saga. She succinctly answered the Oniduro question in Igbowo Eda through Alagbawi Mi by differentiating Oniduro from Alagbawi. This time around, she went to the spiritual field to fetch the names Aboru, Aboye, and Abosise, and as is her wont, she gospelized them! That is her new offence!

The three names, as explained in Odu Ifa Ogunda Meji, are actually more than names. No doubt, the Babalawos and Iyanifas use them as routine greetings. So also, any of the words can be used to pay homage to the elders in Yorubaland—I am sure this will jolt some of the Yorubas reading this! We have actually demonized some of the symbols of our culture, language, names, and even gods!

Till now, some Pentecostalists have believed that Satan is Esu which is not true! Aboru, Aboye, and Abosise are names; and nothing is wrong with using anything created by Olodumare in praising him! Sheep, Lamb, Rock, etc. were used in the Bible to denote God or Jesus and to compare His greatness.

Let Tope Alabi be! Allow her to vent her tentacle of praising God to anything that filters through her sixth sense. Allow her antennae of praise to roam every religious space in Yoruba land and the world. Allow her to spread the lurch embedded in Yoruba literature with her cheery creativity and talents. Tope is changing our world with her songs. She is truly a reincarnation of Olodumare’s ombudsman, who helps us access the things of God through her uncommon praises.

Samuel Fasanmi

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NISS: Driving Change Agenda in Security Agencies

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By Afakriya Gadzama

One of the major achievements of the President Muhammadu Buhari Government is upgrading of the National Institute for Security Studies (NISS) to enhance its role in enhancing inter-agency cooperation, building the capacity of security organizations and eliminating practices that are incompatible with the rights of the citizenry.

 

The decision was apparently informed by glaring inadequacies and rivalry among security organizations that undermined collective efforts to have seamless cooperation and effective coordination between stakeholders in the national security system. It was very critical to have an Institute where the intelligence, security, military and paramilitary organizations could interface and share ideas towards common operational culture.

The National Institute for Security Studies was also to address the diverse and often conflicting doctrines, approaches and understanding in security practice by providing a medium for interaction and forging better formal and informal understanding in handling security and related challenges. When the Institute came on board through the 2019 Establishment Act, inadequacies and anomalies in the security architecture and practices could subvert a unified approach for tackling security challenges in the country. It was considered imperative to have an institutional framework that will bridge the gaps and divergent positions on dealing with common security challenges. There could not have been a better time to have such an Institute than now when the country faces myriads of security challenges. The need to have an institute that will address lack of capacity among those being prepared to hold command appointments was a matter of urgency. The core mandates of the Institute include addressing perceived leadership inadequacies among those holding command appointments.

A major inadequacy in the security, defense, law enforcement and paramilitary organizations in the security sector is lack of sufficient grooming of those aspiring to hold command appointments. The National Institute for Security Studies was charged with addressing leadership inadequacies and ineptitude in those heading security and related organizations. The Institute was without doubt a child of necessity with responsibilities similar to those of the National Defense College and the National Institute for Policy and Strategic Studies, Kuru Jos.   The NISS is also charged with preparing commanders and directors to fit leadership models suitable for effective response to contemporary security challenges. The upgrade of the Institute for Security Studies to a National Institute was informed by the importance of a well-informed perspective, mindset and knowledge supportive of the nation’s nascent democracy and operational effectiveness in emerging security commanders.

After a long period of military rule, it was necessary to initiate significant changes in security management that are in consonance with democratic practices. The Institute promoted a new orientation and best practices in security management by continuously urging participants to avoid attitudes and practices of the past in order to fit into the change agenda and discard the use of unbridled force, abuse of human rights and corruption. The NISS has been a major driving force in the change and democratization processes in the country by adopting re-orientation of mindset of security operatives and related professionals as core areas of study. The NISS also inculcates in course participants the importance of intelligence, integrity and civility in security and crime management by exposing them to best practices in security and intelligence management, drawing extensively from the experiences of other countries and this has been valuable in the change process promoted in the Institute. The Institute also enhances the knowledge of course participants by taking them on foreign studies tours and giving them lectures in comparative studies.   The NISS has dedicated lecturers who are very determined to take it to world class level and this has worked in its favour, although much still needs to be done to recruit experienced scholars conversant with contemporary security practice.

The vision of the management of the Institute is to draw from the knowledge and experiences of experienced academia and security intelligence officers especially those who have held top positions.   Ministers, governors and heads of government agencies and departments who are interrogated on challenges undermining efforts to address security and development challenges deliver lectures at the NISS. Studies by course participants and interactions with governors have drawn attention to nagging security and development challenges. The Institute focuses on challenges of governance as core areas of study and participants and their study tour coordinators make recommendations to state governments and organizations. The Institute is emerging as a source of valuable contributions in policy decisions that could help stabilize the polity and achieve development objectives.

The NISS also conducts research into topical security challenges facing the country and the sub-region during which participants get lectures and conduct research into major security challenges and why they persist at national and global levels. The research covers challenges of poor leadership, governance and extremism in the country, complemented with studies on institutional and leadership failures. Lectures and research papers also cover proliferation of dangerous weapons, drug addiction, illegal migration, sub-regional challenges and threats that undermine development and change. The Institute provides avenues for exchange of ideas on harmonization of divergent operational approaches in managing security threats and critical intelligence in security practice, avoiding intelligence failures in crises and failure to appreciate intelligence in conflicts. Terrorism, armed banditry, militancy and religious extremism are other important areas of research in view of prevailing situations in the country, as well as sabotage and attempts to delegitimize leadership and governance interest, negative consequences of sectionalism, religious bigotry and promotion of sundry parochial interests and sentiments.

The Institute has recently hosted seminars and lectures on challenges of governance, leadership, and support for the country’s quest for stable democracy. It has also been at the forefront of promoting a paradigm shift predicated on the centrality of respect for human rights and good governance because effective security is only obtainable where the interests of the citizenry and those who lead are in harmony. The perspective of security as the aggregation of all interests is given prominence in lectures and the shift in emphasis from regime protection and preference for the use of force to meeting the aspirations of the citizenry are considered fundamental in understanding critical components of national security. In addition, the Institute frowns at the incursion of deception, playing to the gallery and sycophancy in security practice. Participants are encouraged to cultivate the culture of being frank, truthful and honest to those in the position of authority.   The challenges of elections and democracy in a changing environment with emphasis on attitudes, factors and tendencies that undermine the growth of democracy and development also come under focus in the Institute’s concerns for stable democracy, credible election processes and patriotic leadership.

Major stakeholders in the conduct of elections including the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC), the security organizations and political parties are invited to deliver lectures. The Institute has facilitated exchange of ideas on corruption in recognition of the fact that corruption has socio-economic and political implications on and national growth and progress. The mandate of the National Institute for Security Studies is well thought out to meet security, development and leadership demands and overcome challenges of our time with particular focus on reorientation, remodeling and changing the mindset of personnel especially those holding Command appointments. Going by its achievements so far, the Institute remains on course despite disruptions of its programme by the Covid-19 pandemic and lack of funds for the successful take-off of some of its programmes and qualified manpower. Afakriya .A. GADZAMA OFR, mni Chairman, Governing Board of the National Institute for Security Studies.

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